Sparks! with April Beyer

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One to One with April

Are You the One Making All the Moves?

One of the most common questions I get from women is why so many men seem to be allowing women to do the courting. If you’re in your 20s and 30s, you might even be accustomed to taking the lead. It’s just the way things are right now.

But let’s take a look at how this “modern approach” is working for you, because it might be hurting your self-esteem and keeping you from a really great guy. Deana’s question is the perfect chance for us to do that:

Hi April — the guy I’m currently dating never calls unless he’s returning my call. He’s always glad to hear from me so I don’t know why he doesn’t call. Is this a sign that he’s not really into me? Thanks.

Deana, the simple answer to your question is: yes. For whatever reason, this relationship is not a priority for him.

I know the book (and movie) He’s Just Not That Into You was popular with women, but frankly, it goes much deeper than this. What you should be concentrating on is why you’d be consistently reaching out to someone who’s not interested in pursuing you. I get that he’s happy to hear from you. Who wouldn’t be? It’s always nice to get a call and a hello from someone you know likes you. It’s flattering.

But let’s be real: he’s acting very lazy, and do you really want to date someone who doesn’t pick up the phone and make plans? Forget about why he isn’t calling. Focus on the fact that he’s NOT calling.

If your needs aren’t being met, I encourage you to look at why you’re still attracted to this guy. Just something to think about. I’d hate to see you putting all of your attention on the wrong guy. You could very well be missing out on someone who would jump at the chance to call you and ask you out on dates.

Let me know if this helps!

What about you, ladies? Do you find yourself making all the moves? Have you noticed that women have become the aggressors in relationships? If so, does it bother you? Or does it make you feel empowered? Would love your questions and comments! Let’s chat.

Much love,
April Beyer Signature

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