Sparks! with April Beyer

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One to One with April

Best of Sparks!: Is My Independence Intimidating to Men?

Summer is a great time to catch up on your reading! Throughout the month of August, I’ll be featuring some of the most popular posts from the last six months of Sparks! Some were shared thousands of times. See you back here in September, and in the meantime, have a fantastic summer!

There’s no better post than this one for starting off a “Best Of” series. It was the first runaway hit I had when launching my new site, and garnered tons of messages and emails, so I know it struck a chord. This is a question that comes up so often for modern women. The truth is that men care less about “what you do,” than about who you are as a person, and who they are when with you. I hope you find it helpful!

This week’s One-to-One question is from Diane, who seems to have everything going for her except a relationship:

“I’m a confident, successful, educated, fit and well-rounded woman. My life is great. I have incredible friends, a career I love and freedom to travel. The only thing that’s missing is the love of a good man. I don’t need anyone to take care of me and I’m extremely independent. My friends tell me that I intimidate men and I feel invisible (or at least to the men I want to meet). How can I correct this? I’m starting to lose hope that men are actually attracted to smart and accomplished women. Should I dumb it down and pretend not to know so much? Your help is much appreciated.”

What I find interesting about your question, Diane, is that you only mentioned what you do and what you have. Basically, you’ve listed your resume. Clearly, you’re a smart woman. But my guess is that you aren’t dating smart. Dating smart requires you to have an honest and deep understanding of who you are, and what you have to offer a man romantically…

Read the rest of my answer to Diane here.

Much love and happy summering!
April Beyer Signature

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