It finally happened. My darling Father (who isn’t computer savvy at all) told me today to “Google” advice about my washing machine that’s on the fritz. Wow! Really? My 84 year old Dad knows what Google is.
I don’t know where we would be without it. Information of every kind is right at our fingertips. Need to know something? Type it into Google. We’ve come to rely on it to make decisions of all stripes. It’s the best thing ever!
Except when it comes to your dating life.
The Curious Dater’s Dilemma
When my team and I put together our well-thought-out introductions at Beyer & Company, we make one simple request:
Don’t Google the man or woman we’re matching you with.
I know. It’s tempting, but it’s important you skip this step when you meet someone new.
You have your reasons, of course:
— I met this guy online, and I want to make sure he’s not Jack The Ripper.
— I don’t want to date a man who’s broke so I want to find out what his financial status is.
— I want to see what he looks like. If I don’t find him attractive, I can still back out of the date.
— I want to see who he’s dated or photos of his ex-wife.
I don’t blame you one bit. Online dating is a crap shoot and can be a very scary thing. However, when a friend or a respected Matchmaker like myself takes the time and care to make an introduction for you, lose the urge to Google.
I’ve seen too many great matches fail to get to the first date because someone just had to Google, and then changed their minds based on the information or photos that were discovered.
So, let’s break this down into two parts: Images and Information.
1. Images: A photo of someone can be misleading. They’re either more flattering than reality or vice-versa. Either way, it’s just not an accurate or smart way to judge a potential match. As a woman, you have the beautiful gift of being able to find chemistry with a man beyond a one dimensional image. His laugh, the way he speaks, or how he walks into a room. You can be attracted to a man by being drawn to his intellect, personality or how interesting he is. Do yourself a favor: forget about judging a man on his looks before you meet.
2. Information: Google is not a bible of truth. There’s only so much you can learn about a man’s life. Yes, perhaps you can visit his website or read a few articles about him, but you’re not getting the full scope of who he is. You’re only learning about his public persona. What counts is who he IS. Not what he does.
In my Matchmaking, I don’t show photos of my male clients to the women I introduce them to. In my 17 years in the industry, I’ve seen too many women miss out on a great guy because she didn’t like a photo. In fact, a dear friend of mine turned down a guy who was pursuing her online simply because of his look only to meet him in real life and fell head over heels for him one year later.
Don’t miss out on your life. You’re a multi-dimensional woman with the ability to use all of your senses to feel attraction and chemistry. Trust yourself. Take a chance. Have dinner with a man without doing your detective work first. You just might hit the jackpot — and be surprised by who you fall in love with.