Sparks! with April Beyer

You are closer than you think.

The Friday Takeaway

How to Stand Out and Succeed at Online Dating, Part Two

I can’t believe the holidays are already upon us! This is that time of year when we split our time between warm gatherings with family, and festive parties with friends and colleagues. It’s also a time to make the most of being single because with all the festivities, you have a great chance to meet someone while out and about.

But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep exploring all avenues, so following up on last week’s post, today I’m going to give you another tip for elevating yourself on online dating sites so that you aren’t lost in the crowd.

Attitude Counts!

In general, you should know that how you feel does indeed show up in your online dating profile. Believe it or not, I can read a profile and in twenty seconds tell you if someone is insecure, negative, fearful, closed down or desperate! That’s why it’s important that you be aware of the signs so you can avoid unintentionally sending the wrong messages.

Earlier this week, I held the second installment of “Make it Great! Dating Secrets for Loving Your Love Life!” at the 41 Ocean Club in Santa Monica, and the topic was online dating. (Thanks to the amazing women who turned out for the discussion! I loved meeting and talking with all of you!)

And I noticed as always that what seems to be universally challenging for most of us online is being able and willing to let go of the outcome. I get it. It’s hard not to take it personally, even online, but unless you are able to let go, you won’t enjoy — let alone succeed — at finding love on a dating app or site!

So yes, make your profile stand out, but think of this all as a fun experiment and not a reflection of you or your worth in love. You are far too amazing to let a stranger sabotage your self worth! I’ll talk more about that in Part Three.

This week, I’m going to give you a profile writing tip that can make all the difference if you’re hoping to get the attention of highly-eligible, quality men on an online dating site:

This week’s Tip: Share the Best of the Real, Deeeper You

Everyone seems to make the same initial mistakes in the “About Me” and “What I’m looking for” sections of their profile.

In “About Me,” people tend to use the space to talk about what they do, instead of who they are. Use the interests/work/career/education questions to talk about what you do. This particular section is designed to help someone tune into who you are internally, or romantically.

Begin by sharing who you are as a woman, or how you are in a relationship: Tell us how you love, how you express yourself, and what brings you joy. That alone will get a man to lean into his computer to learn more about you!

Since everyone is dating efficiently these days, another common mistake is to talk about what you don’t want in the “What I’m Looking For” section. You might think you’re being honest and clear, but it reads as negativity and causes people to move on to the next profile.

Instead, focus on what you do want, and stay positive in your profile. That will help you keep the focus where you want it. On how appealing you are.

Next, be sure to leave all your rules out of your profile. “I don’t like cats” or “don’t contact me unless you’re serious about a relationship” are not statements that will serve you. They are off-putting. There’s time to share these at a later date, when you get to know someone. Until then, they work against you with everyone, especially quality men.

Convey Interest and Warmth.

To get the attention of high-quality, relationship-ready men online, you want to convey the following with your profile: That you are warm, positive, approachable and interested. That’s what will attract the healthy, appealing men you want to meet!

Try this with your profile, and report back here on Sparks! I’d love to hear about the difference it makes!

Have a great weekend,

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