Every so often an article comes out suggesting women are going to have a hard time finding a mate after they reach a certain event in their lives, or become a certain age. I’m here to tell you that just isn’t the case. Stephanie writes:
Is it true that men like younger women, and that dating will only get more difficult as you get older (and that your options will decrease)? I would love it if you went into more detail on this. As a 32 year old woman, I can’t tell you how much anxiety and stress it has caused me to hear this advice everywhere, about how women “expire” after a certain point. I feel as though my chances for love will pass me by if I don’t find someone now, as I just continue to get older, and presumably less desirable, by the accounts of most dating advice columnists and experts I see out there.
P.S. I love your website and blog! I just recently discovered this and it’s really lifting my spirits a bit, after all the disillusionment I’ve gone through.
Hi Stephanie, I’m so happy that you have found your way here and that my advice is serving you! I want to start by addressing something that is a common problem:
Anyone who is telling you that you have a shelf-life is NOT an expert. You have to ask yourself just who these people are and how they gained their knowledge? I get so frustrated when I hear the superficial, completely inaccurate and unrealistic “advice” that’s being peddled out in the world. Just because someone has dated, it does not make them an expert. Nor is someone an expert just because they decide they are one. Please be careful who you listen to, because they could send you down the wrong path and hurt your chances at love.
I bring couples together for a living and I know what works. I’ve watched countless couples discover each other, and I can tell you unequivocally that love does not know age. I can’t stress this enough.
Let me ask you this: do men become more interesting as they get older? Do they become better partners because of their experience and readiness? Of course they do! Why should you, or any woman, be different?
My matchmaking clients, who are relationship-ready men, want women over 30 because they want someone who is mature and knows how to be in a serious relationship. Who knows all the things that come with being a woman, not a girl.
You do not have an expiration date. You aren’t a carton of milk. You are a constantly evolving, maturing woman who’s gaining the wisdom and experience to be an amazing wife and partner to someone! Age doesn’t make you more or less desirable.
You have to start thinking and feeling that you’re appealing and lovable because of who you are. Your confidence is like a bright light that draws men to you, while your insecurity and fears are what sends them away.
Also, you’re only 32! You are young! This is the perfect age for starting the process of getting ready for love. If you want a family, this is a good time to be thoughtful about your choices in men, and resist running in a panic to choose just anyone in order to beat the clock.
You can’t change your age (nor would you want to), but you can and must change your attitude about this. Stephanie, I hope you read my advice several times this week so you can move about your life with more ease.
Stay with me, I have much more to teach you on this important topic. I can only encourage you to change how you think about your dating life, and allow yourself to enjoy the journey. It’s not a race!
P.S. For those of you wanting to become ready for love, my Smart Sexy Soulful Dating™ course teaches you everything you need to know to find the guy that’s perfect for you, and to be prepared for love when you find it! Hope you’re planning to join me. Remember to sign up to be notified when early registration opens!