Sparks! with April Beyer

You are closer than you think.

The Friday Takeaway

One Key Thing You Must Have to Attract a Relationship

Earlier this week, I pointed out how putting your energy out to others draws people toward you.

But when is the best time to do that? Many of my readers are confident, attractive, and accomplished women who find themselves too tired at the end of the week to go bar-hopping, and who say that between their job, the gym, their hobbies and friends, they don’t have a spare minute for getting together with a man they aren’t completely sure about. Yet these are the very same women who turn around and ask me where all the eligible, marriage-minded men are! They think that once they meet the right guy, they’ll have no problem including him in their lives.

Does this sound like you?

If so, this Friday Takeaway is for you, because I’m here to tell you that if you’re truly ready for a relationship with a great guy, you’ll have to get rid of the excuses and make room for him in your life now — long before you ever meet him.

Do You Have Time for a Relationship?

First of all, I should remind you that there is no secret one-stop shop where all the great men hang out just waiting until you have a free moment to swing on by and pick one out. I wish I could direct you to such a place, but there isn’t one, and even if there were, it takes more than just being in the same room with a man to create that connection you’re looking for.

As I say often on this blog, incredible men are everywhere. You walk by them every day. But here’s the problem: if you’re ready, and yet you still aren’t meeting these men, it means you’re missing the moments, the little opportunities to make a connection that could lead to something bigger.

Are you packing so much activity into each day that it’s wearing you out, or keeping you busy 24/7? If so, then frankly, you probably aren’t really ready for a relationship, or other things are more important to you right now, such as getting ahead in your career, reaching a financial goal, completing an MBA or earning a JD. And that’s perfectly fine! You don’t have to pursue everything at once.

But if your other priorities and goals aren’t the issue, then ask yourself this: “Am I keeping myself busy because I don’t know what else to do with myself? Am I using my crowded schedule to avoid an intimate relationship? Is a great guy what I really want and am ready for at this point in my life?”

If you can say no to the first two questions, and yes to the third, then you’ll know it’s time to make some changes. It’s time to notice and embrace the moments of possibility that occur in your life on a daily basis.

Slow Down and Create Space

Men tell me every day that they frequently see women they’re interested in, but that in many cases the woman seems so busy or preoccupied she’s essentially unapproachable.

A man is looking for a woman who has time for him. No one wants to be with someone who puts them last on a long list of priorities. So in order to be ready when you do meet the right person, you have to have room in your life for someone now.

The key to doing this is committing to some unstructured time.

It’s easier said than done, I know! You can start by blocking out some time on your calendar this weekend, even if it’s only a few hours. Then get outside to the park or the library, the cafe or the driving range, the farmer’s market or the antique fair — anywhere you’ll enjoy being. Be approachable, warm, friendly. Get comfortable just relaxing.

And leave your phone, your laptop and even the books and magazines at home.

Opportunities and Inspiration

You’re not doing this to meet someone. The idea is simply to make room for opportunity in your life. Get familiar with yourself and your thoughts. Tune in to who is around you and what they’re doing. Observe. Relax. Emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Start this weekend, and then make it a habit. Book a couple of hours a few times a week to meet the world where it is and to be open to whatever connections might happen. Prioritizing your personal life can be the first step to finding the relationship of your dreams. If you don’t make it a priority, who will?

Let me know how it goes!

Much love,
April Beyer Signature

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