Sparks! with April Beyer

You are closer than you think.

Dating Advice

The Healthy Habit Most Likely to Help You Find Love

I just returned from the most incredible weekend in Santa Barbara. I have to say, I’m still reeling from the high.

I hosted a women’s retreat at the gorgeous Belmond El Encanto for a very special group of brilliant, successful women — all of whom came together to learn, laugh, cry, release old thoughts and patterns, and shine a big bright light on their personal lives.

Something most powerful, busy women tend to neglect.

As a business owner with a staff and team to manage, a full client list, a husband and two adorable (but needy) pups, I can certainly relate.

Heading to meet my producer for a final retreat planning meeting on the grounds at Belmond El Encanto!

On my way to a private coaching session!

The Personal Is Profound

How much time do you carve out in your schedule to reflect on your personal life? Are you aware of what is magically unique about you personally? How do you convey that special, inner you to the world? To the men you meet? How quickly and easily do you share and reveal your beautiful, shining self with the people around you, especially those of us who don’t have the opportunity to know you as your friends and family do?

Without the proper space and time, these questions of authentic identity are often forgotten, and communicating the truth — the essence of who you are — gets sadly overlooked. These answers require a deeper look that, without the proper environment and support, can elude the day to day woman who going through the motions of living your life.

A Guarded Heart

After years of coaching women, I continually witness a very important theme running through the lives of each woman I work with. Most successful women lead very public lives, and in so doing, have created a private persona to match this big life.

It’s almost as if the more powerful a woman becomes, the more she guards her heart. You know the saying, “The higher the climb, the greater the fall.” Even with fabulous friends, some women hold back with how much they’re willing to confide in these friends, share their stories, convey vulnerability, reveal hopes and fears. Yes, even with the women in their most inner circle.

The serene patio outside my beautiful suite. We filled it with flowers and candles, wrapped ourselves in soft throws, and had a girl's night discussion on Saturday night over dessert and after dinner drinks.

The serene patio outside my beautiful suite. We filled it with flowers and candles, wrapped ourselves in soft throws, and had a girl’s night discussion on Saturday night over dessert and after dinner drinks.

Which brings me to the impetus for my retreat: I wanted these women to unite with other like-minded women in an intimate setting to show them they aren’t alone in their journey.

Investing Time and Trust

We planned a weekend of taking time to reflect, recharge and hit the reset button. In my private coaching sessions with women, I often see just how many incredible — and I mean incredible — women sacrifice themselves for others, have outgrown old friendships, and are still sitting on the sidelines of their own romantic journeys.

We gathered for group sessions with profound learning, meals where everyone connected with other like minded women, and private time with me in my beautiful suite. I feel like we covered a lot of ground, and although everyone came away with a fresh perspective, I came away with an even more profound desire to help women.

This morning, I woke up missing each and every woman who attended. I missed their sharing, their smiles, their willingness to relate, to connect, to grow and to share.

Most of all, I missed the unique and rare feeling that in a weekend, formed a bond between all of us.

You Owe Yourself Self-Knowledge

My thoughts for you today are to encourage you to take the time for such feelings. To know that your personal life is just as important as your busy day-to-day life. After all, without it, the work and the success just isn’t rewarding, or any fun at all, in fact. Your personal life is truly your foundation for everything in life.

And the self-knowledge that comes from reflection is the one thing most likely to help you connect on a deeper level with a man, and the right man at that. If you don’t know who you are, how can you know how attract him to you? You have a personal brand and it is unique to just you. What you have to offer in a relationship has nothing to do with what has made you so successful in life. You’re so much more than that and during this weekend, each and every smart, successful woman learned her true romantic value.

So, the next time you’re presented with an opportunity to dig deep, whether it be in a conversation with someone new, an invite to a special retreat, or an afternoon with a journal — jump, go, take a risk. Share yourself, the inner you. The results are immediate when you’re willing to open your heart to the world.

Much love and happiness to you,

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