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One to One with April

Three Simple Ways to Win a Man’s Heart

I meet a lot of women in my career, and each day I hear from women who second guess themselves when it comes to men. They get caught up in the unfortunate idea that men are elusive, afraid to fall in love, and difficult to understand.

I also, of course, work with some of the most eligible bachelors in the country: leaders in their industries, brilliant surgeons, CEO’s and venture capitalists. To the outside world, they are strong, alpha males — men who could easily spend their lives as confirmed bachelors, dating random women.

But when I work with these men, I see something else. I see behind that alpha image to the real person, as they share their stories with me and express their desire to find one woman who will catch their attention and capture their hearts.

Men Are Not Mysterious

When men are ready to fall in love, their emotions are much like ours. They feel excited at the prospect of new love, nervous if she doesn’t call back right away, sad when they lose a girl they care for, and filled with gratitude and emotion when they finally find the woman of their dreams.

Matchmaking is a complicated and layered process that requires me to take the full person into account. And when I identify the woman I feel is truly the best match for my client, it then becomes totally up to her win his heart, which she cannot do if she’s laboring under stereotypes about what men want.

This brings me to the quick question Patricia sent in to me this week. She asks:

April, how do I win a man’s heart?

Patricia, thank you for this question! Very simple and to the point. And yet, finding a way into a man’s heart can seem like the toughest thing in the world sometimes, right? Well, it doesn’t have to be. Here’s the really good news: Men are very basic with their needs.

Now, before I get a ton of emails telling me otherwise, I want to explain that this is a good thing. When my male clients come to me with their “ideal woman” list, it’s usually very simple and straightforward. They actually choose a woman based on a feeling (a very good thing) rather than on an intellectual list of must-have’s.

Three Loving Actions

Next time you’re with a man you like and care about, decide right away that you’re going to be real, authentic and powerfully feminine.

1. Be the Woman He Feels Safe With. This means you offer an open mind and a compassionate ear. You’re there to love, not judge. In your presence, he feels alive, powerful and accepted.

2. Be Equally As Receptive As You Are Giving. Women are very good at giving, but we’ve lost the art of receiving along the way. If you’re not good at receiving compliments, affection, love and attention, work on this. Make room for him to be giving. It’s how a man feels his worth when he’s with you.

3. Make Love Easy. Men who are ready to find love aren’t looking for a complicated relationship that takes forever to get off the ground. Marriage-minded men do not want a woman who plays the mystery card, or who plays hard to get. Love is not a game. It’s a journey.

A man’s heart, when open and ready, is truly beautiful, and easy to touch when you know and are being yourself. Your truth and emotional availability are what will truly win a man’s heart.

Thanks for the question, Patricia!

Ladies, start being your most authentic self, and enjoy yourselves out there!

Much love,
April Beyer Signature

25 Responses to “Three Simple Ways to Win a Man’s Heart”

  1. m88 says:

    I do enjoy the way you have presented this specific issue and it does indeed supply me personally some fodder for thought. Nevertheless, through everything that I have seen, I really trust when the commentary pile on that people today continue to be on issue and don’t get started upon a soap box involving some other news du jour. Yet, thank you for this fantastic piece and though I do not necessarily go along with this in totality, I value the point of view.

  2. Bulie says:

    Thanks for your advice, April.

  3. Tammy says:

    I wish it were that simple. I am a bubbly outgoing girl and always get told I am too nice. Lol thought that was a good thing. Recently met an amazing man and we both didn’t expect to have so much chemistry between us, it really was amazing but he ended it as I am 32 and he is 24. Here is to 2014 being the year of love.

  4. Nozinhle says:

    Thnx for your tips april hope theyll help many of wt i know abt men is that they dont know what they want and neva satisfied.

  5. pertu says:

    Love is not a game. It’s a journey. Wow!

  6. Nolitha says:

    I am in this new relationship; this guy is giving all his time and showering me with love, but my heart is so empty. I’ve been hurt so many times. I want to believe this is real but am also afraid of becoming so in love and clingy, and being hurt again. I wish I could be at ease and let go because this man has been saying it seems I am not head over heels in this, but holding onto the past.

  7. noks says:

    Thanks for the advice.

  8. linah says:

    Thanks April for the tip and you have read our minds because I was one of the people who plays hard to get and now I will change that

  9. masindi says:

    Ladies let’s not give up on love because giving up means giving up on ourselves. Love and relationship they are not complicated after all. Let’s start to look at our sides first. What kind of men do we attract? And if they are all bad news why don’t we ask our selves why? I have learned that in order to find love and happiness I must first look at my self first and fix my self and life style. It all starts with us. Let’s try to be positive and good because positive thinking gives positive results. Steve Harvey once said we as woman we must better position our selves in order to attract good men. So a better , beautiful and warm hearted you attracts a better , handsome, intelligent, warm hearted man. Start to be positive right now. Remember it all starts with us , meaning if u want to get married to a good brilliant caring man u must start visualizing it and believe in it and at the same time think of what what kind of a woman that man u visualized really want in life, and start being that woman. Good educated men needs good educated women like them. Alike attracts. Change your views on life to the better and you will see.

  10. nomvuzo says:

    I think I have to give this a try and stop being a “Drama Queen.”

  11. Andisiwe mbengo says:

    Love just hurts no matter how you prove to him that you love him or show him that you care, he will always hurt you. I have been hurt not once, many times. I have been out there trying to see if I can find a man, but no, they are all the same I didn’t find any gentlemen, but a guy that hides me from his friends and family. I gave up on love, really.

    • masindi says:

      Do not give up one love. I’ve been hurt so many times myself but I never gave up on love. I dated wrong men because I was not good or at a better stage of life but since I was reading some article that says better position ur self to get a better man and I did and it worked, I concentrated on my studies and got a job and along the way I met a better man. So I guess if you want a better man start with yourself. It all starts with us. A good woman attracts a good man simple.

  12. Lefentse says:

    What should I do right that makes him want to marry me?

    • Zaylie 101 says:

      It sounds like you feel you are doing things wrong and that’s the reason why no? Well there’s an endless number of reasons why he hasn’t popped the question. You need to stand back and evaluate the relationship. Really look into what is going on in your relationship. This might give you an idea of why he hasn’t. I’m sure this man loves you and he wouldn’t just hesitate for no valid reason. Do pray about..God will give you some correct answers. :) Good luck.

  13. Patricia says:

    In love with a man who is still best friends with his ex girlfriend. When I confront him about it, he becomes angry. Should I stay or let go?

  14. Margaret says:

    In each and every relationship,be it good or bad, you learn something about both yourself and men. This brought me to a thought,that maybe i needed experience before finding the right person. Thank you April…

  15. thandeka says:

    I think there’s no such thing as love in a relationship because I’ve tried my level best but no improvement, anyway thanks for this article

  16. Pinky says:

    I did try to open my heart for a guy but its not working. It only seems to last for five months.

  17. Phiwo Zoneleni says:

    It seems to be easy to win a man’s heart

  18. Patricia says:

    Hey! April Thank you so much for your advice on my question! Wow I truely apreciate that,and I will definately take your advice and learn from them. 😉 Be blessed mwah!

  19. Iris Sanchez says:

    I believe in this article. I believe that if a man is matured and is ready for a serious relationship, he will not make things complicated both for the woman and himself. This does not mean that he is willing to settle for less, but rather, he is open minded and is ready to accept the possibilities in a relationship. Given these hints, I think that women out there can start being more confident and rational and give the men around them a chance to prove their sincerity. Who knows, he could be the man that you have been waiting for your whole life?

  20. itumeleng says:

    Amen to you April Beyer!

  21. Palesa says:

    Some men dont appreciate evrything you do for them, i have tried all that but i dont seem to find the right guy for me. I do win their hearts but they dont last, none of my relationships last.

    • Melissa says:

      I’ve also given up. None of my relationships do last, my problem is with me but I’ve tried my best, giving all, only to find out i’ll be the one to end up with a broken heart. How to enter that online dating, April, I think I once read from one of your articles that you also do love matching. Please help me, maybe it will work out…

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