Sparks! with April Beyer

You are closer than you think.

The Friday Takeaway

Three Things Relationship Ready Men Do

Your friend is having a book launch party, or some other casual affair, so after a busy Saturday, you twist up your hair, throw on a simple summer dress, and head out the door. You’re going to support her success and enjoy yourself in a relaxed setting, maybe have a glass of wine. The last thing on your mind is meeting Mr. Right or any approximation thereof. It’s just not on your radar at this moment.

But if you read my advice on a regular basis, you’ll know that this is the perfect scenario for a connection to happen! Who knows who you might meet, and whether he’ll be at the right moment in his life for a spark to ignite and lead to a lifelong relationship.

Knowing If The Time is Right…For Him

Everyday in my work I talk with amazing men who are attractive, highly-successful, kind-hearted, and thoroughly ready for love. They are interested in meeting and giving themselves completely to a woman who is equally ready to find a life partner.

Every once in a while, however, a man will approach me who isn’t ready. He thinks he is, but for any number of reasons he’s not. There may be a little (or a lot of) unfinished emotional business, or perhaps he’s simply, deep in his heart, still enjoying the single-life. Each time this happens, I’m struck by the vast difference between the two men. Both can be amazing individuals, merely at varying points on their journey, and yet there are clear differences that set them apart.

Once you are tuned into these differences, you’ll be able to navigate the dating waters a little more easily. You won’t waste your time with men who aren’t ready, and you won’t accidentally miss connecting with a man who is.

Best of all, you’ll be able to ignite a spark with that handsome, relationship-ready man smiling at you across the piano, holding your friend’s new book.

Here are three things relationship ready men do:

1. They Respond When You Are Interested in Them

Wipe from your mind the myth that men are looking for a woman of mystery. If a man is relationship-ready, why would he be intrigued by a woman who poses a challenge to get to know? He wouldn’t. He would just move on. Those games are the stuff of movie storytelling, and are not at all based in reality.

To connect with a relationship-ready man, be open and interested in learning more about who he is. Ask questions, and then follow up on the answer. You can keep it light, but don’t focus on the mundane. Instead get creative: ask about his passions, or get his take on something going on around you. And keep stories about yourself to a minimum. You’re simply giving him the chance to share, and enjoying the moment with him. He will appreciate that, I promise you!

2. They Fall In Love Faster Than Women

Another myth is that women love faster (and better) than men, but we actually don’t. We tend to talk about it more than we actually do it. We feel it in our head first and then it moves to our heart. It makes perfect sense. A woman’s job is to be logical and safe about her choices. It’s important to our future and longevity. However, when a man meets the woman he’s going to marry, he decides rather quickly and gives his heart without hesitation. You’ll know a man is relationship-ready if he’s not delaying dates or avoiding spending time with you.

3. They Long For You To Be Vulnerable

Often, women are afraid to appear “vulnerable,” emotionally. As I’ve said in the past, the word often gets a bad rap. To me, and the men I work with, it simply means being open, ready to share, able to give and to receive. It’s actually one of the top things men ask me for when looking for their future wife. Learn how to be a smart, open and vulnerable woman on your first dates and you’ll see men climbing mountains to be with you.

4. Bonus: What They Don’t Do…

Men — relationship ready or not — don’t do a self-assessment before asking you out. A man may not be fully aware of whether he is or isn’t relationship-ready, but either way, you can’t blame a guy for trying to ask you out.

Men don’t judge their looks or worthiness when approaching you, and they may or may not be thinking about finding the one. They only see a woman they find beautiful and want to meet you. That’s why it’s helpful for you to be able to spot the man who has the ease, confidence, and openness of someone who is ready.

In addition, you might think that it’s preposterous that sometimes men who aren’t “in your league” have the guts to ask you out. Instead of feeling insulted by that and wondering what you’re doing wrong to attract all the wrong men, take it as a sign that you are actually sending the right signals, and that eventually the right, relationship-ready man will be among the many moths drawn to your flame!

Not all connections you make on your single journey will be promising, so why not have compassion and share your kindness. Remember that this time is yours to enjoy with all it’s ups and downs. It will be over before you know it.

Much love,

april-sig-small

 

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