Sparks! with April Beyer

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What Your Relationship With Your Ex Says About You

I got an interesting question from Annie recently…

Hi April. I’ve noticed a common “thing” about all my exes. We have an awesome relationship after breaking up. For no reason we stay friends and keep in touch. The thing is, they all come to me for relationship advice. My question is why am I not good enough for a committed relationship with them, but good enough for being a wise friend who gives solid advice? P.S. I love your blog.

Annie, thanks so much! I’m so glad my blog is helpful to you. Right out of the gate, I want you to stop thinking about “being a wise friend who gives solid advice” as being the next runner up in a beauty pageant. You most likely have always been a friend to everyone you’ve dated, and that friendship was stronger than the romance.

It’s not as if these wonderful friendships only started after you broke up. I’m sure that throughout your relationship, you were a trusted source for all different kinds of advice. Now that you no longer see one another romantically, what was really valuable to these men about you still remains.

That doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough. It’s a wonderful trait to have!

You Will Likely Have Many Exes On Your Journey to Lasting Love.

Remember you are always good enough. You just haven’t found the right connection yet.

Romantic relationships are not the end all, be all. Think about the friendships you’ve had are for a lifetime, but the guys you’ve dated have come and gone romantically. I know for me, I hold all my friendships (male or female) near and dear to my heart. I’m living proof that you can remain close with your ex boyfriends and benefit from a beautiful and lasting friendship.

Know that you will eventually find the right man and establish that lasting connection; he’s out there. But in the meantime, you’re among the lucky few who will collect a number of wonderful friends along the way! Take heart, Annie, you are blessed!

Friend or Lover?

So here’s my question to all of my Sparks! readers. Do you feel second best when you’re chosen as a friend over being a lover or partner? If so, have you asked yourself why? I want to hear from you so let’s discuss! I’ll be checking into the comments section this week putting in my two cents and giving you a little perspective.

Much love,
april-sig-small

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