You’re probably discovering a lot of things you don’t really need anymore. Much like we’re reprioritizing our financial spending, now that we’re practicing “safer at home”, our relationship priorities have shifted to the more fundamental, core needs. We have ourselves a new dating economy.
Until recently, we were distracted by the more superficial or less tangible things that brought us temporary or material happiness – spa days, shopping splurges, that new ______ that everyone is wearing these days.
But, whether it was conscious or not, you’ve started to prioritize your life differently. You’re starting to see the value in focusing on only what truly matters to you. It feels good to know what you can do without. In many ways, it’s exhilarating and liberating. A new sense of freedom combined with a more meaningful life.
Your choices in men need this same shift.
In this new dating economy, your needs in a partner are going to feel more important that your wants.
The same is true for men. Now that in person dates are on hold, the entire single community is taking stock. If phone, Zoom and FaceTime dates are taking the place of restaurant dates, then it’s not as easy to date multiple people at once. It’s just too hard to emotionally invest in that many conversations each week.
Going forward, men and women will be building relationships through trust, meaningful conversations, a sense of safety and comfort. And by the way, you can still have your wants, just not at the expense of your needs.
So, how do you determine which is which?
Needs vs. Wants
Your needs are based on your core values and how you want to be treated in a relationship. They’re rooted in a shared vision of the future and how you both want to live your best lives.
Your wants are more superficial. Sure, they’d be nice to have but if this pandemic has shown us anything, it’s that we need and crave true partnership. There’s nothing like a global crisis to get you thinking and seeing clearly.
As a professional matchmaker with years of experience in relationships, I would suggest you start thinking about how you can be more concise with your wish list. Write down all the traits you’ve been seeking in a partner and next to each trait, ask yourself: “Do I want it or need it?”
Like a spring cleaning of your closet, toss the old ideas and welcome a fresh perspective to help you grow and achieve your dreams.
To your future!
April Beyer
