Sparks! with April Beyer

You are closer than you think.

One to One with April

Am I Being Put In The Friend Zone?

We all work hard. We have jobs, careers and lives that are challenging. Your relationship should be a warm, cozy sweater that wraps around you with care and comfort. But is it okay if you feel completely comfortable from the very beginning? And what if the man you’re dating feels immediately comfortable?

Melissa wants to know if that’s a bad sign.

I have had 2 dates with a guy. Both went very well. He has texted me since and we are tentatively planning a third date. He has described the dates as being “comfortable,” saying he’s been able to just relax. Is this a good thing? Or am I being put in the friend zone?

Melissa, you have nothing to worry about! In fact, the feeling of being “comfortable” is exactly what you’re looking for. I know it sounds odd. That’s a word we use when we’re lazy, curled up on the couch in our comfy sweats and a warm sweater watching a great film on Netflix.

Feeling “At Home” With Someone

Every time I’ve matched a couple who went on to form a lasting bond together, the feedback I received right out of the gate was how comfortable the two were with each other. This has happened literally hundreds of times.

To give you an example: I just spoke with a client yesterday who’s been dating a woman he met though me, and he kept repeating how “easy” it was to be with her. He feels all the excitement, curiosity, and chemistry that comes with dating someone new, but he also feels very comfortable with her. The relationship is flowing without any effort. She also told me today that she feels the same way, so I have a feeling this relationship is going to bloom into something very special.

Being Mysterious Only Works in the Movies

Women get it wrong when they try to create mystery with a man. Men who are truly ready for a relationship want to feel like themselves when they’re with you. Whether they realize it or not, they want the relationship (not you) to be easy. Think about it. If something is tough, arduous and difficult — do you want to do it every day?

When I met my husband, we both felt instantly comfortable with one another. There was no keeping track of who called who or worrying whether or not he was going to call. It just flowed. It just worked.

Love this question, Melissa! Please check back here and let me know how this new relationship is going for you!

Do You Worry When it Seems Too Easy?

What about the rest of you? Ever felt this way about a man? When you first met, you thought it was easy to be with him, then wondered if maybe it was too comfortable?

Really want your thoughts and comments on this one. Post ’em below!

Much love,
April Beyer Signature

Leave Your Comment:

Or Comment Via Facebook:

Join the Conversation

YouTubeTwitterFacebookLinkedInRSS FeediTunes

Video: Matchmaking for Women

One-to-One with April

Search Posts

12-Month Archives

SSSD Audio Teaser

Twitter Feed

Facebook Like Bar