Have you ever noticed how even the toughest people will simply melt when interacting with a baby? Babies have this sense of vulnerability that is incredibly magnetic. They demonstrate how they feel without any filter, crying when they need something and smiling when they are happy. They will stare right into your soul without shame as they attempt to learn your cues and mimic your actions. Their ability to be completely open and unguarded is so refreshing, especially for adults who have learned to suppress genuine human emotions to avoid being seen as vulnerable.
Because vulnerability is often misconstrued as weakness.
In reality, leading with vulnerability is actually empowering. Especially for women, being a leader in today’s world no longer means leaving your humanity at home. We’ve made strides recently, with more females rising to prominent roles in corporate America, but there is still a long way to go before true equity is realized across all industries.
We have seen the decisive, confident and unapologetic influence that powerful men can wield. Imagine how much greater that influence could be if they deployed vulnerability as a leader. This is true for women as well. Female leaders are known for being collaborative, creative, communicative, intuitive, multi-dimensional and balanced, but we often neglect to be vulnerable.
Discovering the harmony between vulnerability and leadership is crucial. For both men and women in leadership, recognizing that success doesn’t require us to sacrifice any essential part of who we are is life-changing. As a successful matchmaker, business owner and female motivational speaker, I have seen how embracing vulnerability can catalyze growth and success, not only for leaders but for their organizations as well.
The journey toward leading with vulnerability won’t be easy, but it will be worth it.
It sounds so simple to just “be yourself,” right? Yet authentic vulnerability is more complex than that. Let’s explore how to peel back the layers we build to protect ourselves and discover all the ways that leading with vulnerability can create joy and fulfillment in work and in life.
A Journey to Embracing Vulnerability in Female Leadership
In my career, I’ve witnessed vulnerability at every level. I’ve seen it in men and women, in personal and professional relationships, in action, and in reaction.
In its purest form, vulnerability is power.
I witnessed that power unleashed in my client Kathy. Despite incredible success running her own firm in NYC, she was feeling isolated and lonely. At work, she diligently kept her personal life separate to maintain respect and authority, but at home, she quietly mourned the loss of her husband, who was also her business partner.
This strong, influential and inspirational woman came to me in tears, feeling shattered, and alone, unsure of what to do. Her concern was that she would lose her power and respect if she engaged on a more transparent level. I encouraged her to consider embracing vulnerability and letting people get to know her on a deeper level. I advised her to be her authentic self at work and give her team the opportunity to view her as a whole human being.
Two weeks later, an exuberant and glowing Kathy showed up at my office. “April, you won’t believe the magic that’s happening!” Suddenly, I’m smiling at work, I’m having more meaningful conversations with my team and engaging at functions without worrying about being respected. I’m simply being me, and I love it!” And I loved seeing her so fulfilled. Her positive transformation strengthened her connections and, as a result, her business was flourishing.
As leaders, it is inevitable that we will always encounter stress and complex challenges. It comes with the territory. While we can’t change that, we can develop vulnerability as a leader to create harmony in our lives. This enables us to build authentic relationships that foster trust and support, which will bolster our ability to overcome obstacles. Surrounding ourselves with people who know and like us for who we truly are, not just as their stone-faced, impenetrable leader, is essential. After all, life is better when you build meaningful connections with those around you. Just ask Kathy!
The Role of Relatability as a Source of Strength in Vulnerability
Like Kathy, many leaders believe they should always prioritize logic over emotion. While it is true that logic should generally reign supreme, there is something to be said for letting emotions take control in certain circumstances. For women competing in a male-dominated world, suppressing emotions may seem like the right strategy, but doing so actually lessens leadership impact.
An overly-emotional leader will not be respected, but one who recognizes how to tap into valuable emotions to make informed decisions can be remarkably influential. Far from being a weakness, emotions infuse us with strength. When balanced by logic, they provide clarity in decision-making. Emotions help navigate the complexities of running a business and working with people in today’s world of uncertainty and change.
For female leaders, emotions are part of who we are. When we suppress them, our vision for the future becomes blurred, and we lose much of what makes us impactful leaders. When we tap into our emotions, we build loyalty and longevity. Our ability to connect meaningfully with people is our superpower, which means neglecting emotions is like encountering kryptonite. So peel off that layer of stoic professionalism and let your vulnerability fly free. You, your team and your business will be better because of it.
And who knows, you might even be part of saving the world!
A Leadership Guide to Creating an Organizational Culture of Vulnerability and Relatability
Through my career as a matchmaker, CEO of LEVELConnections and female motivational speaker, I have discovered that both men and women can leverage vulnerability in leadership to build meaningful connections that foster trust, respect and loyalty.
Success can be found at the intersection of vulnerability and leadership, and I’ve created a roadmap to lead you straight there. No detours, no roadblocks, just a clear path to a more fulfilled life, surrounded by people who like and respect you for who you are.
1. Lead by Example
I talk about leading by example often, and that is because it is one of the most powerful ways to foster authenticity. Businesses are built on authentic relationships, which are founded on trust, which you nurture by being transparent and backing up your words with action.
Gone are the days of “do as I say, not as I do.”
Today’s workforce expects — and deserves — to watch their leader’s footsteps head in a direction they can follow with a clear conscience and heart. As you blaze that trail, share your experiences and the emotions they generated. Talk about the obstacles you faced and how you transformed them into opportunities. Being real and transparent about your ups and downs humanizes you as a leader. When you demonstrate strength in vulnerability, it empowers your team to be open, without fear of judgment.
Authentic relationships arise out of shared feelings and experiences. When you express your vulnerability, it shows your team that you are human and understand and accept genuine emotions. However, leading by example also means recognizing where the boundaries are in displaying vulnerability in leadership. It is vital to understand how to be relatable without oversharing personal details or crossing professional lines.
Demonstrating the appropriate balance will inspire your team to follow your lead.
2. Make Time for Your Employees
One of the ways Kathy began embracing vulnerability was by making time for her employees. Rather than rushing through the office with barely a hello, she made a conscious effort to get to know each employee on a deeper level, one day at a time. This created a culture of openness, where everyone felt comfortable expressing their feelings, hopes, dreams and concerns. As the trust and respect began to build, she recognized how valuable the investment of her time was.
Like Kathy, we are all busy. I know that even before I step into my office, my mind is already on business and efficiency. To this day, I must remind myself to take a moment and connect with my team. It’s like building a muscle. You have to keep going to the gym if you want to see real results. It may seem counterproductive to spend time at work talking about anything besides the tasks at hand, but doing so demonstrates to your team that their feelings are paramount. Create a safe space for employees to share their thoughts and concerns, and show empathy by actively listening to their words and observing their body language. Avoid interrupting or dismissing their feelings, and validate their experiences by offering support and understanding.
Making time for employees heightens engagement and fulfillment. Ultimately, they will feel invested in their work and recognize how important their contributions are to the organization’s success. Demonstrating this level of vulnerable leadership earns respect and admiration, which strengthens connections. Simply put, the investment of your time makes work much more enjoyable for everyone. Sounds like a win-win to me!
How Female Motivational Speakers Support Vulnerability and Balance in Leadership
Discovering harmony in strength and vulnerability is one of the most impactful things you can do as a leader and, honestly, as a person. These two traits can coexist beautifully to create consistency in leadership without compromising your authority. The strongest leaders recognize how to be relatable by embracing authentic vulnerability.
As women, channeling emotions in a healthy manner by showing empathy can greatly enhance our professional and personal lives. Because being strong doesn’t mean tamping down every feeling or thought you have, it means recognizing how to express and leverage them in a constructive manner that inspires others. Over time, your openness and honesty will build a culture where every employee feels confident being their most authentic self. The meaningful connections you build can ultimately redefine your views on what success looks like and lead you to discover profound fulfillment in life and work.
As a motivational speaker and CEO myself, I understand the challenges women leaders face. I can help you redefine what strength means and discover how to embrace vulnerability as a powerful asset, not a weakness. Together, we will explore how to disrupt outdated views on vulnerability and transform them into a superpower ready to be unleashed for the greater good.
And regardless if the world is ready or not, I think it’s about time to demonstrate how impactful we can be when we are free to be our most authentic selves….don’t you?
