Hi, I’m April Beyer. Over the years, both in relationships and leadership, I’ve learned the importance of balancing authority with approachability. Women, in particular, often face the delicate challenge of establishing ourselves as leaders without losing the warmth and relatability that makes us who we are. But here’s the thing: authentic leadership doesn’t come from wielding authority but from creating genuine connections.
Today, I want to share some strategies that have helped me and others lead with authority while remaining approachable and, most importantly, relatable.
The Power of Relatability in Leadership
First, let’s talk about relatability. It transforms leadership from a position of authority into a meaningful connection with your team. When people feel they can relate to you, they are likelier to trust you, engage with you, and follow your lead.
I remember working with a female executive with a commanding presence who often felt distant from her team. They respected her authority but weren’t connecting on a deeper level. We worked on her approach, helping her share more of herself—her challenges, her personal story—and it changed everything. Her team started seeing her as someone they could relate to, not just someone giving them orders. The shift in engagement was undeniable.
Building Authority Without Losing Approachability
Let’s be honest: as women, we sometimes worry that people won’t take us seriously if we’re too approachable. But here’s the secret—authority and approachability aren’t mutually exclusive. You can be a strong leader while still being relatable.
Here’s how:
- Be Authentic, Not Perfect
- Leadership isn’t about being flawless. It’s about showing up as your authentic self. Vulnerability doesn’t weaken your authority; it strengthens trust. When you allow yourself to be seen as human, people will relate to you more and feel more comfortable coming to you with ideas or concerns.
- Lead With Empathy
- One of our greatest strengths as female leaders is our ability to empathize. Leading with empathy shows that you care about results and the people behind them. When your team knows you genuinely care, they’ll respect your authority even more.
- Listen First, Speak Second
- I’ve always said that listening is one of the most underrated leadership skills. Too often, we feel the pressure to have all the answers. But real authority is built when you show your team that their voices matter. Pause, listen, and make decisions that reflect the input you’ve gathered.
- Be Clear, Not Cold
- Authority comes from clarity. If you’re wishy-washy or unclear, people will struggle to follow you. But being clear doesn’t mean being cold. You can communicate your expectations with warmth and understanding, ensuring your team knows that while you’re serious about results, you’re equally invested in their success.
Staying Approachable While Maintaining Professional Boundaries
Being approachable doesn’t mean you need to be everyone’s best friend. It’s about balancing being open and maintaining the professional boundaries that keep your leadership intact.
- Set Expectations: Your team needs to understand that while you’re open and available, there are clear boundaries. Being approachable doesn’t mean you have to be “on” 24/7. Set clear expectations for communication and availability so your team respects your time.
- Share Selectively: It’s okay to share parts of your personal life, but you don’t have to share everything. The goal is to be relatable, not to blur the lines. Share experiences that help your team understand your journey and foster connection, but maintain your role as a leader. My philosophy is to be personable but not personal. The emotions behind your stories matter, not the details of your stories.
The Long-Term Benefits of Balancing Authority and Approachability
Balancing authority with approachability creates a culture of trust, openness, and mutual respect. Your team feels empowered to share ideas, ask questions, and take initiative. They’ll know you’re there to lead and support them.
Remember Kathy, the executive I mentioned earlier? After making a few changes, she noticed a shift in her team’s engagement and leadership style. She became more confident in her authority because she knew she was leading from a place of genuine connection. And that’s what made all the difference.
Conclusion: Lead With Heart and Strength
Ultimately, the most influential leaders lead with heart and strength. Authority without approachability creates distance, and approachability without authority creates chaos. But when you master the balance of both, you build a team that trusts, respects and feels genuinely connected to you. You’ll be able to manage issues before they become bigger problems.
Remember, leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room or maintaining a facade of perfection. It’s about being honest, relatable, and reliable. When you lead authentically and empathically, you create lasting connections that empower everyone around you.
So, as you step into your next leadership challenge, don’t be afraid to be strong, warm, clear, and kind. The more you balance authority with approachability, the more you’ll inspire those around you to reach their full potential.
