Think you’re ready for the responsibility of marriage?
If you find yourself longing to be married, really ask yourself:
HOW READY AM I?
When my husband proposed, all I kept thinking was: “ Wow, this is it! This is the moment that I’ve helped create for so many others!” Time stood still, or at least it felt like it. We were looking at the beautiful San Francisco bay. It was surreal. Perfect. Amazing.
I was filled with emotion, love, joy, surprise and all the other emotions that come with being proposed to. More importantly, I felt calm. Confident. Ready. Ready to love this man. I felt ready to be responsible for him, as he has promised to be for me.
Nearly 10 years later, we’ve taken this commitment seriously, to care of one another, no matter what (and boy have we been tested). We’ve combined families, lifestyle, finances and we’ve faced challenges neither of us was prepared for.
Being in love with someone is an amazing experience and one to be celebrated. However, just because you love someone and that feeling is returned, it doesn’t necessarily mean you’re ready for the adult world of marriage. Ask anyone who is married or has been through a divorce. It’s a partnership. It’s a team.
MORE AND MORE PEOPLE ARE WAITING TO WALK DOWN THE AISLE. AND THIS IS A GOOD THING!
No longer are the 20s the time to settle down. After all, people are living longer which means marriages will be lasting longer as well! Why the hurry?
We all know people that got caught up in the romance and decided to marry much too young to only end up divorced by the age of 40. Marriage requires experience. This means you have dated, loved and lost. You’ve fine-tuned your needs and learned about yourself through all of your relationships. Remember, nothing has been a waste. Every person you have met has been a part of shaping your future.
Everyone thinks they want or deserve to be married, but many are not willing to do the personal work and grow as individuals first. It’s tantamount to saying you’d like your MBA, but you’d prefer not to go to school.
I knew my time would come, which is why I never worried along the way when I hadn’t yet found the love of my life. I really enjoyed my single years and lived each moment to the fullest.
Now that I have found him, I am ever so grateful that I didn’t make this decision prior to this time. He is the right man. He was worth the wait.
As a professional matchmaker, I was often asked why I wasn’t married. My answer was simple and honest:
“I WAS ALWAYS A GREAT GIRLFRIEND, BUT I WASN’T READY TO BE A WIFE.”
Since I was not ready to be married, I chose men that were only boyfriend material. There’s nothing wrong with that. I was fortunate to have had great guys in my life.
My advice to you is this:
Be aware that your choices are your own. If you are picking men that aren’t ready, it just might be that you are not as ready as you think you are. This is a big pill to swallow, I know. It’s only in assuming responsibility that you truly find freedom.
Until you are completely ready to be someone’s wife and all that comes with it, you need to know that the universe is taking care of you. Perhaps you aren’t married yet because you have work to do. You can’t force it or make it happen just because you want it to.
TIMING IS EVERYTHING.
Respect marriage and don’t enter into it until you yourself have matured. No one is going to come along and make you happy. Be happy on your own first. Trust me, you’ll attract a better partner.
If you are single right at this moment, enjoy it!!
It won’t last. I promise.
Love finds you and when it does, it happens quickly. Stop mourning your single status and get out and enjoy life, your friends, your individuality and your freedom. If you are constantly trying to find your future, you will be missing out on the precious moments life is offering you.
