Is What You Want In A Man Real & Attainable? Part 1: Pet Peeves

The man you’re dying to meet is out there. But, is it possible to get everything you want and need?

You’ve met men who have the personality you click with but the attraction and passion were missing. There have been plenty of men you were wildly attracted to, but they were totally inappropriate and left you feeling lonely, frustrated and discarded. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. Bridging the gap between what you want and truly need isn’t an easy task. You’re not about to settle but it’s frustrating when you feel you’ve dated long enough and now you’re ready to take your personal life to the next level. It’s time to meet the man of your dreams and put your single days behind you.

Ask yourself: “Am I being too picky or superficial?”

It’s vital to your future success that you have a clear understanding of yourself first and this includes taking stock of what really matters. But, what about the little behavioral or physical irritations that start to add up and begin to erode your connection? Is it enough to leave a relationship or not bad enough to end it?

In this series of blog posts, I’m going to help you dive deeper to answer this question honestly so you can move forward dating productively. Let’s begin with something that seems small but is actually an indicator or a larger issue.

Your pet peeves matter. Don’t dismiss them.

Some of the most common annoyances or quirks that you just can’t seem to get past, are directly tied to who you are at your core. Instead of pushing ahead with a new relationship because a man has other qualities you like, you’ll need to start paying attention to what triggers you.

Pet Peeve Example #1 – Tardiness

If he’s handsome and sexy but chronically late and doesn’t prioritize spending time with you, that’s more than an irritating quality. It’s about respect and if that’s important to you in a relationship, then it’s a deal breaker, not a pet peeve.

Pet Peeve Example #2 – Debauchery

If a man you’re dating occasionally drinks too much and gets a bit too loud/obnoxious in public, that’s not something you want to overlook. You’re a woman who is watchful of her reputation and it’s important that you’re held in high esteem in your community. You’re not just with a man who overdoes it from time to time, you’re dating someone who isn’t a trustworthy and mature partner.

The Bottom Line With Behavior

Anytime you see a behavioral pattern that is repetitive and causes pause or discussion with your friends, there’s a reason. Ignoring these feelings leads to compromise on a bigger level. Always best to unpack it and ask yourself WHY a particular behavior gets under your skin.

Pet Peeve Example #3 – Looks and Mannerisms

There can also be a small physical mannerism or feature that causes you to question whether or not you can date a man. It could be his height, the lack of a thick head of hair, the way he laughs or how he dresses. Why can’t you get past this if he’s truly aligned with your values and you have an amazing time together?

The Bottom Line on Looks

Before you judge yourself or toss out a relationship too quickly, take stock. What is this feeling doing to your attraction level? Does it hold you back and make you less loving or attentive? If that’s the case, it’s deeper than just physical. Most likely, these superficial elements are showing up because there are key factors missing in the relationship. You’re not doing a man any favors by pushing yourself to be attracted to him. Like you, men crave being deeply desired. It just doesn’t work any other way.

At the end of the day, you want and need to be attracted if you’re going to have a solid and lasting relationship. However, you can’t rely on looks alone to find love. You’re smarter than that but what do you do if you have a superficial type that you won’t budge on?

What Your Pet Peeves Say About You

If you’ve found yourself constantly finding fault in others and it’s keeping you single for too long, it’s also time to ask yourself if you’re truly ready to commit. An indicator of relationship readiness is your willingness to overlook the small things and focus on what is most important to your longevity, health, joy, and happiness.

The Happy Ending

Yes, you can have it all, but only you know what you really need. Never sacrifice your needs to get your wants. Ask for your needs first and the rest will follow. Be the woman who says yes to dates and introductions with enthusiasm instead of operating from a strict list of qualities you’re looking for. It will expand your opportunities and allow you to enjoy dating for the sheer pleasure of meeting someone new. Not only does this make you an all-around happier (and more attractive)woman but it also brings love closer to your door than ever before. Open your eyes, arms, and heart. He’s waiting to meet you!