What do you do when everything about your guy is wonderful, with the exception of his relationship with an old flame? That’s what Primrose wants to know…
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I’m dating a man whose ex calls him at night when we’re in bed and who sends him text messages that she’s always thinking of him (!).
What if your partner is not willing to ask the ex to stop midnight calls, and tells you they’ve “known each other for 25 years and their communication cannot break off because of you.” How can that situation be handled?
Great question, Rose! And as a professional matchmaker, I must say, a common one. There are very few people we really bond with in this lifetime and when a relationship comes to an end, there can be anxiety over letting go of that person completely. One thing to remember: Just because the love and sex went away, these two most likely had a friendship and that’s what is keeping them in touch. Or, they could still be in love.
That said, his ex calling him at midnight and texting him that she’s always thinking of him is where we draw the line.
You don’t have a problem with her as much as you do him.
If you’ve told him in a straightforward way that her late night calls bother you, he should be sensitive to this and ask her not to call. He obviously is getting something from this relationship that he’s not willing to walk away from, even if it’s hurting you.
If you’ve been dating this man for a good length of time, then you should be able to ask for this to stop. If he’s new in your life, perhaps you should reconsider spending the night with him and sharing intimacy when he’s clearly still not over his ex. If the behavior continues, then your response should be clear: Why stay in a relationship that makes you feel disrespected and not valued? This seems like a simple question, but it’s one you need to ask yourself.
Have you checked out my Smart Sexy Soulful Dating™ Audio Series? It’s an invaluable resource delivered with my female keynote speaker experience that provides you with a straightforward method to comprehend and set your personal boundaries. You cannot have a healthy relationship without them, and they are absolutely necessary for your happiness.
“In my 25 years of experience working with single men and women, I’ve found successful relationships are built on a solid foundation of self-knowledge, clarity, and confidence. With my private relationship coaching, you can embark on a transformative journey that will lead you to a deeper understanding of your core values and align you for successfully developing a truly fulfilling relationship that can last a lifetime.”
– April Beyer, Founder & CEO of LevelConnections.com
