Just about anyone we date is going to have some kind of relationship history, no one is a blank slate. But, as Mary wants to know, how does a man’s recent divorce figure into your dating picture?
I’ve been dating a man who’s been divorced for one year and has two children from his previous marriage. I care for him and we seem to have a great connection but I’m not always his priority. I’m ready to get married and have children, but I worry that he may want to play the field for a while. Am I wasting my time? How long should a man be divorced before he is ready for a significant relationship? Thank you in advance for your help!
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Dating someone who’s recently divorced can present some challenges. Typically, men who’ve been separated or divorced for only a year or two aren’t looking to walk down the aisle right away. They need time, regardless of who ended the marriage, and especially if there are children involved.
You wouldn’t want a man who rushes right back into another marriage immediately after a divorce, would you? That’s a recipe for disaster! The more time away from the divorce, the better.
You say you’re ready to get married and start a family, so you need ask him if he sees this for himself in the near future. Timing is indeed everything and unfortunately, love alone is not enough.
However, there’s a bigger issue here. It’s that you don’t feel like a priority in his life. My advice as a professional matchmaker is to look at that first. What good is it to marry him if you’re not important to him right now? Don’t be fooled into thinking that a wedding day fixes anything. All you should focus on is how you are being treated and loved right now. Today.
(By the way, even if a man is recently divorced, that doesn’t necessarily mean he has the need to go out and play the field. It depends on when he got married. Some men really loved being married, and they do want it again, maybe just not right now.)
Ultimately, it’s your responsibility to decide what your personal goals are, and if this man is on the same page as you are. Don’t be afraid to speak up! The question to ask him is not about whether he sees a future with you, it’s about seeing what he feels ready for in general — with any woman.
I appreciate your question Mary. I know so many women go through this so if you’re reading this blog and have your own stories or questions, I would love to read your comments. Have you found that men need more time after divorce than women? Please share!
“In my 25 years of experience working with single men and women, I’ve found successful relationships are built on a solid foundation of self-knowledge, clarity, and confidence. With my private relationship coaching, you can embark on a transformative journey that will lead you to a deeper understanding of your core values and align you for successfully developing a truly fulfilling relationship that can last a lifetime.”
– April Beyer, Founder & CEO of LevelConnections.com
