As I stopped for coffee one morning a few months ago, I overheard a group huddled at a table, sipping lattes and discussing last night’s episode of The Bachelorette. They were obviously in agreement (and possibly infatuated with) one particular suitor. Certain the Bachelorette would choose the handsome, hard-working, intelligent and kind man with a great family and a heart of gold, their conversation quickly turned to other topics. I remember laughing to myself as I reflected on my career as a matchmaker and how often clients surprised me with their choices.
A week later I was back at the cafe and sure enough, they were there, too, discussing their bewilderment at the final rose ceremony. So, did the Bachelorette ride off into the sunset with her new fiance and live happily ever after? Not quite. Apparently, she selected another suitor, found out behind-the-scenes secrets, broke up with him and begged Mr. Perfect to take her back, all before the reunion show even aired.
In love, and in life, people aren’t always clear on who their best match might be. There are countless factors that go into creating a healthy relationship that will stand the test of time. This is where a relationship expert comes in. Someone with insight into what creates a solid foundation upon which a successful relationship can be built.
As a matchmaker, business owner and female inspirational speaker, I recognize that the same matchmaking secrets used to connect the right people with each other in romantic relationships can be applied to enhance an organization’s hiring strategies.
How Matchmaking Strategist Brings You Top-notch Talent
Successful matchmaking goes beyond sending two attractive people on glamorous dates in exotic locations. Authentic matchmaking is a blend of art and science that weaves individuality, experience, talent and personality together to create a tapestry of love and compatibility.
As a professional matchmaker and female keynote speaker, I have developed a profound understanding of the delicate balance of attributes, core values, business and personal goals, habits, preferences, strengths and weaknesses, upbringing, relationship history, and behaviors that create strong and sustainable partnerships, including how to hire the best employees.
Through the years, I began to recognize that I could leverage the same techniques I used in matchmaking to enhance my leadership impact. When it comes down to it, every relationship, whether personal or professional, has a better chance of succeeding when built on the right tenets. Armed with this insight, I began applying my matchmaking skills to create innovative recruitment and retention strategies that challenged the status quo.
And it worked. I began witnessing leaders handpick individuals who fit best within their team based on the principles I offered. And as employees started genuinely connecting with each other and leadership, relationships based on mutual respect were cultivated.
Any relationship built on mutual respect will flourish. Sprinkle in adoration, shared work ethics and a commitment to growth, and you’ve got a recipe for success. Relationships built on these qualities will push us to expand, grow and learn valuable lessons.
In my experience becoming a matchmaker, catalyzing growth by challenging my clients is vital. After all, they sought me out because they hadn’t yet found long-term relationship success. They recognize that it’s time to put their fate into the hands of an expert who can guide them into thinking outside the box and seeing the bigger picture.
With my experience as a relationship coach, I am well-versed in the art of asking questions, deep listening and keen observation. Deploying these techniques allows me to help my clients recognize what they truly need versus what they think they want. My goal is to support them, while also using my insight and knowledge to find a partner who complements their strengths and balances their weaknesses. I help them find their perfect complement, rather than a mirror reflection.
I can’t tell you how many calls of gratitude I’ve received from clients who trusted my advice and the most seemingly unlikely match ends up being the best fit. If this strategy is so incredibly effective in the most complex relationships of all, imagine how it can bolster recruitment and retention strategies.
My Successful Hiring Experience
You might be wondering how my experience helping clients find love realistically translates to a professional setting. Well, if you think about it, relationships are relationships, just with slightly different components depending upon if they are personal or professional. But the foundation remains the same.
I remember hiring my first executive assistant. It was a pivotal moment in my career, and I knew that I needed to scrap old-school recruitment strategies to attract and retain talent and instead put my matchmaking skills to good use. After all, this person was going to be in a relationship with me, albeit a professional one, and I needed someone who shared my goals, values and work ethic.
Since I had already ensured the candidates had the right qualifications and experience, during the interview process I focused on finding a match that was deeper than surface level and based on an authentic understanding of who we are as individuals. Instead of your standard questions, I delved into topics that explored shared desires, fears, dreams, goals and family backgrounds. By the end of the meeting, it was clear how we both needed to be respected, where we needed the most support and how well our traits and attributes would work together.
My instincts and matchmaking skills paid off.
My approach to candidate engagement resulted in my hiring an executive assistant that aligned with me on many levels. Our connection ran so deep that she immediately became a close friend, and, after a decade of being an integral part of my business and life, I grew to think of her as family. It was heartbreaking for both of us when she moved to another state to start her own family with her new husband.
Breaking through my sadness, though, was an immense sense of pride and accomplishment. I had always been told that millennials change careers and employment every one to two years but I had proven that the skill of a matchmaker creates longevity and loyalty.
To have challenged the status quo by applying my matchmaking skills to the interview process, and being able to hire the right employee for my unique needs, is inspirational. Despite this happening very early in her career, she remained with me long-term, and we challenged each other to grow. I proved to myself that my innovative approach to integrating more humanity and transparency into my recruitment strategies was the key to attracting and retaining talent.
This moment was pivotal for me. Embracing the value of finding the right match in business in the same manner I always had with love inspired me to help other leaders do the same.
A Professional Matchmaker’s 4 Key Recruitment Strategies to Attract and Retain Talent
You don’t have to be a professional matchmaker to leverage my secrets for building meaningful relationships to hire the right employees. I’ve married the best of my matchmaking skills with the unique needs of a professional setting to craft this list of strategies for finding your perfect match.
And honestly, I follow my own recruitment advice, so I know it will work for you, too.
1. Don’t Expedite the Hiring Process
To quote the Supremes, “You can’t hurry love, no, you’ll just have to wait.” The same goes for hiring. Rushing the process is counterproductive. You might reach your goal quickly, but you may have to repeat the process when you discover that the “perfect” candidate isn’t quite so perfect for you.
Because hiring is like dating.
Both involve seeking a desired outcome and engaging in meaningful conversations that foster understanding and connection. Without taking time to ask significant questions and create a psychologically safe environment that allows both parties to be their authentic selves, you won’t find what you are looking for. My matchmaking experience taught me the value of patience as you explore another’s vision and goals to determine if they are aligned with yours. This thoughtful approach is key to making informed decisions and finding the right fit long-term.
It has been incredibly influential in my business. With an 89% success rate for long-term relationships and marriages and an impressively low 1% divorce rate, I not only help clients achieve their dreams and goals, but I also help them de-risk their future. This goes for their financial future as well, because, sadly, any type of separation, whether divorce or termination of employment, is painful and expensive. I am dedicated to helping my clients put in the time and effort upfront to create a compatible relationship that will weather any storm and stand the test of time.
2. Learn What’s Important for Them to Find Compatibility
Part of the reason patience is an important component of my recruitment or matchmaking advice is that it unearths true compatibility. In business, discovering compatibility begins by creating an environment that allows you to delve into the candidate’s priorities. An insightful study from MIT highlights that today’s employees value respect at work above everything else.
You can discover what individual respect looks like by employing emotional curiosity.
As a matchmaker, emotional curiosity is a tool I use extensively. I delve into a candidate’s family background, upbringing, and past relationships to gain insight into areas they seek respect and how they demonstrate it in return. I may open a conversation by asking, “What do you want to be noticed, praised, or respected for?” Unearthing their unique perspective on what respect means to them is key to discovering an ideal match.
And since the best relationships are multi-faceted, hiring the best talent means engaging in a holistic approach to interviewing. Remember, you aren’t simply finding someone to fit your existing culture. Instead, you want to identify individuals who will thrive in your organization. Creating meaningful relationships is what inspires loyalty and leads to long-term success. In dating and business, people remain together because a deep connection was created that can withstand the inevitable challenges life always seems to throw at us.
When I am asked how to hire good employees or create meaningful relationships, my response is always to use that strong connection as the foundation upon which everything else is built.
3. Effective Communication
Effective communication is key to developing a strong connection into a meaningful relationship. In my role as the CEO of a successful Matchmaking Agency, LEVEL Connections, I rely on three essential communication techniques for hiring, matchmaking and client acquisition: emotional curiosity, active listening and transparency. You can apply these techniques to your hiring process and discover the best talent that aligns with you.
Emotional curiosity is about creating a profound connection through deep conversation that evokes feelings rather than solely engages the mind. When trying to hire the right employee this means deploying empathy, patience and the courage to delve into deeper emotions and get to know the candidate on a more profound level. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable being transparent and ensure you actively listen to what they say. Be present in the moment and demonstrate your interest in their thoughts and express your own vulnerabilities. Offering your personal perspective will result in more open and honest communication.
In my wealth of experience observing human interaction, this level of effective communication will always result in the best possible outcome for both parties. I have always embraced transparency with my team, and by prioritizing people, I’ve fostered trust and aligned our personal and professional goals. This ensures everybody can be their most authentic selves.
In matchmaking, these strategies have enabled me to establish trust and familiarity which allows me to truly understand my client’s needs and offer insightful guidance. In business, you can deploy these techniques to inspire authenticity during interviews. Not only will you end up hiring the best talent, but just like I did, you may also discover a lifelong friendship.
4. Pay Attention to Body Language
Another important matchmaking secret that is an effective approach to candidate engagement is paying attention to body language. How many times have you seen a couple whose body language belies an exceedingly polite interaction? They may be waiting to unleash on each other in private but their nonverbal cues are still hard to hide.
Applying those same keen observation skills to body language during interviews is how you will hire good employees, rather than the one who simply says all the right things. Ask meaningful questions and let your emotional curiosity run wild, then determine if their nonverbal cues align with their answers. If someone’s gaze moves down to the floor when answering a question, you may want to ask, “what’s coming up for you in this moment?”
By creating a bridge from their answer to honesty, you demonstrate that you are curious, caring and observant. Not designed to be manipulative, your immediate follow-up lets them know you truly desire honesty and not the canned response they think you might be looking for.
Can you imagine how productive conversations would be if every person in every relationship developed their ability to tune into the power of observation?
Enhance Recruitment and Retention Strategies by Discovering a Matchmaker’s Secrets
So I’ve shared some, not all, of my matchmaking secrets (I did say patience was key). These techniques have helped countless clients build meaningful long-term relationships, and they can work for you, too.
Whether you are looking for the perfect executive assistant at a pivotal point in your career, or adding to your rapidly growing team on the brink of organizational transformation, applying these strategies will be beneficial. Add in the guidance of a female keynote speaker, and you will be well on your way to finding your missing puzzle piece. An expert female inspirational speaker can help you stay on track and focused on the big picture while offering insightful advice for your team.
Take it from a matchmaking expert, a little help building meaningful relationships goes a long way toward achieving even greater levels of success.
