Anything we do can be done better with empathy. Empathy bolsters understanding and compassion and allows us to connect with others on a meaningful level. Empathy enables us to put ourselves in the shoes of others to see things from their perspective. Empathy truly makes us better people.
I remember the first time I witnessed empathy.
I was 11 years old, in line at McDonald’s with my parents. I was perusing the menu because, even though I always ordered the same happy meal on these rare fast-food outings, you never wanted to miss the announcement of a new item. As I impatiently shifted from foot to foot, dreaming of the first sip of a chocolate milkshake, I heard a loud radio squelch. I turned in time to see two firefighters step out of line and rush for the door toward their engine parked outside. Just as I was about to step up to the counter, I heard a man call out, “Wait” and watched as he hurried to hand them the bag of to-go food he had just picked up for his family.
Back in those days, nobody I knew could afford to pay for another full meal. To my young eyes, this was an incredible gesture of selflessness. Apparently, the manager thought so, too, as he refused to let the man pay for his family’s second order.
Imagine the possibilities if empathy always won.
As an entrepreneur, matchmaker and female motivational speaker, I’ve witnessed how empathy changes the game for my clients. Empathetic communication helps us learn how to be relatable and strengthens our connections with others. From romantic relationships to professional partnerships, employing empathy is always a winning strategy.
Infuse Empathy in the Workplace and It Will Thrive
That memory deeply impacted my life. While it may not have consciously guided my choices, it did set me on a path toward self-awareness. This eventually led me to develop the skills, knowledge and expertise that I deploy in my work as an expert in relationship dynamics and leadership.
The moment of empathy I witnessed as a child is tethered to the work I do as an adult.
This work is based on a strong belief in the vital connection between leading with empathy and the ability to foster a thriving environment. When a leader utilizes emotions, compassion and care to forge deep connections, it cultivates an environment of mutual respect and trust. And when that leader becomes relatable by sharing personal experiences, it inspires others to be open as well. Relationships at work are still relationships. They need to be nurtured in the same way personal relationships do.
Leading with empathy begins within. Self-awareness and self-care should be paramount. Having genuine concern for your own emotions and well-being will allow you to be better equipped to create a safe and supportive space where employees can be their most authentic selves without fear of judgment.
Although empathy and relatability are considered “soft skills,” their power in building relationships in the workplace or in life cannot be overstated. Meaningful relationships are what lead people to make conscious decisions to show up and remain connected. When you can relate to someone else, you will go the distance to support that person. Sprinkle any relationship with empathy, and it will flourish.
I bet the work environment in my childhood McDonald’s was one where employees felt seen, valued and heard. The fact that the manager demonstrated empathy without a second thought tells me his leader recognized the importance of empathy in the workplace. I am proof of the ripple effect that this style of empathetic leadership inspired.
Building Relationships in the Workplace through Compassionate Support
It’s important to treat relationships at work with just as much care and compassion as you would all your personal relationships. Workplace connections forged on a deeper level create bonds that weather storms and stand the test of time.
As a leader, I recognize that I need to model the behavior I wish to see in my team. Not only does this create an environment that leads to success, but it is simply the right thing to do. Demonstrating compassion and care in everything I do comes naturally to me now, but earlier in my career I hadn’t yet learned how truly important those traits are when it comes to building relationships in the workplace.
I remember when one of my team members was dealing with a painful breakup. I noticed her energy and productivity were both lagging. Since this was out of character for her, I gave her the benefit of the doubt rather than jumping straight to discipline. I invited her into my office and inquired about her well-being. As she began opening up about her struggles, I engaged in active listening and asked follow-up questions to truly understand the depth of her heartache and the stress it was causing.
I offered her the same guidance and support I would to a client or a trusted friend.
This was a new perspective for me on how to be relatable as a leader. And I am proud to say that it worked. My holistic support, which some might dismiss as unnecessary for cultivating workplace connections, reawakened her sense of purpose and motivation.
Receiving compassion and care was the catalyst for transformation. She discovered a deeper sense of self, enthusiasm and confidence in all areas of her life, and I learned the importance of putting people first, regardless of the setting. And the impact this insight had on our clients, not to mention employee engagement and retention, was nothing short of amazing.
The hour we spent discussing her romantic relationships ended up being one of the best decisions I made for my business! Talk about an incredible return on investment.
Actionable Strategies to Cultivate Empathy and Strengthen Relationships at Work
Once I recognized how to translate my matchmaking experience to my role as a leader, I was able to cultivate empathy in the workplace and create an environment where every member of my team is their authentic self. The success this manifested still amazes me, and I feel fortunate that I possessed a repertoire of relationship-building techniques and skills to apply to my leadership style. My business grew, and since empathy is now infused into my team’s core values, it also touches everybody they interact with. The ripple that began decades ago in a small-town McDonald’s continues to have a powerful impact on so many.
It is important to me to continue to build upon that by sharing these same effective techniques with other leaders. The more empathy we cultivate, the better our world will be, today, tomorrow and in the future.
1. Cultivate Empathy within Yourself
Another art I have mastered through my experience as a relationship expert and leader is how to cultivate empathy from within. Before you can develop it in others, you have to discover it in yourself. I was able to help my employee build resilience during her heartbreak, and now she is paying that forward to others. As we explored her feelings of failure, she found the strength to let them go and was able to view her obstacle as an opportunity.
That level of empathetic communication is a skill I had to hone.
Years before I even approached that conversation with her, I had to first take a step back and give myself support and love when working through my own challenges. Instead of being a harsh critic, much harsher than any stranger would be, I became my own biggest fan.
If you don’t give yourself grace, leading with empathy will come across as inauthentic.
Instead of going down a rabbit hole of self-criticism, simply stop. Take a moment to reframe your perspective. This begins by acknowledging your emotions and showing self-compassion. Being present with negative thoughts and transforming them into positive feedback will allow you to return to work with a renewed sense of purpose and energy. No matter how busy you are, spending fifteen minutes hyping yourself up is well worth it. After all, the one hour I spent showing compassion to my employee decades ago is still paying off to this day.
So go ahead and embrace your flaws because they are part of what makes you so uniquely special. This does not lower your position or authority. It simply makes you human.
2. Ask Meaningful Questions for a Deeper Conversation
Empathy often arises out of deep conversation. Asking meaningful questions can make a significant difference in the level of understanding and support you can offer others.
When I work with matchmaking clients, I encourage them to ask profound questions that dive beyond the surface and help them get to know partners on a deeper level. As with any relationship, delving into another person’s emotions and giving them a safe space to share without fear of judgment is key to creating open and honest communication.
In the workplace, when a leader demonstrates empathy by asking, “How are you feeling today?” or, “Is there anything you need from me?” it is more meaningful than simply inquiring about someone’s day or goals. Questions such as these will tap into the core of what truly matters to an employee, both at work and in life. They will feel seen, heard and understood. Simply reframing questions in this way establishes a deeper connection and encourages genuine expression. Trust is soon to follow. When you earn trust, you won’t have to control, micromanage or waste time unpacking behaviors that aren’t serving anyone. Instead, your team will want to be their best selves and work toward shared goals.
Exploring these questions will take you down one of two paths. If all is well, the path will be straightforward. You can acknowledge their positivity and express genuine happiness for them, while still reinforcing your availability and support as a leader. Alternatively, if an employee opens up about a challenge, the trip may take a detour. In this circumstance, it’s crucial to deploy empathetic leadership. Actively listen, exhibit care and offer insightful support to help them navigate their challenges. Demonstrating that their concerns are paramount creates an environment of respect that fosters trust.
Will this take time out of your busy day? It certainly will. Is it worth it? Yes. The time you spend on your team’s holistic well-being is incredibly valuable. After all, it’s quicker to spend a few minutes filling up your tank with gas than it is to be stranded on the side of the road for hours, waiting for help getting to your destination (and likely requiring a costly trip to the mechanic to fix the damage you caused your engine).
How Empathetic Leadership Drives Employee Well-Being, Engagement and Retention
Empathetic leadership is needed now more than ever. As we all face uncertainty in today’s fast-paced, ever-changing business landscape, the human touch may mean the difference between failure and success. Your team is seeking more than simply a job. They want to be inspired, feel connected and know that their leader’s values are aligned with theirs.
As a relationship expert and female keynote speaker, I have witnessed the exceptional power of empathy. I recognize how important it is to build connections in a safe environment where both parties can be their most authentic selves, and I’ve seen how critical trust and respect are for creating a foundation of loyalty, longevity and meaningful change.
My approach transcends matchmaking. My unique perspective rooted in empathy and relationship expertise has enabled me to guide leaders into creating profound and sustainable organizational transformation. I can offer valuable insights and tailored strategies for incorporating empathy in your leadership approach.
Together, let’s explore the complex dynamics of human connections, deepen your leadership impact and build meaningful relationships that stand the test of time.
